The Numbers Station; action, 2013

There is a rule in Hollywood – this may actually even be contractual – that John Cusack be dressed in nothing other than an all black suit, tie optional, throughout. His agent probably dictates he only play complex, conflicted, and complicated hit-men or government super secret black ops agency spies. With sunglasses.

With such an iconic, high-contrast look, well aged and practiced through one forgettable film after another (with the possible exception of Grosse Point Blank), it stands to reason that he would cut new fabric on the old tired action hero. But sadly, it seems his tailor is in control through The Numbers Station where, once again, Cusack is an Agency man with a black wardrobe and pasty face.

Emerson Kent is a CIA black ops lifer with “Grim Reaper” practically tattooed across his head. When a hit on a former agency man goes south and leaves loose ends, he refuses to kill the witnesses’ daughter. As punishment, he is sent to sweat out his time in a bare-bones, cold-war relic, a “Numbers Station” that broadcasts highly sophisticated numeric codes to spies via a bunker-like radio station. Kent’s full-time partner is the station operator and cryptographer Katherine, played by Malin Akerman.

Things are going swell on his job as the one-man security force for the expansive underground military bunker; until the day it doesn’t. A team of commandos penetrated the station and made a series of broadcasts before killing the earlier shift. Kent and Katherine arrive, get attacked, manage to slip past the sniper and lock themselves in the bunker. Once inside, they have to find a way to break the codes, recall the commands, and fight off the bad guys who show up with the same predictability as Cuasck’s wardrobe.

There are no real hooks or surprises in the story, or even much depth assigned to the characters. There’s not even enough excitement to generate a cheer when the last baddie dies. But as boring movies go, it’s put together well. The story, although not terribly original, is not as trite as expected – but there still isn’t enough substance to keep the still air of the secure bunker from becoming musty and old.

Numbers Station is one of those films that will eventually find a home on broadcast television, where it will play regularly as the weekend movie before regulated to those new extra digital channels that run old 70’s and 80’s movies. It does the job, and little else.

Ratings: five of ten brussel sprouts

Medication: 30 mg oxyxcodone, 300 mg gabapentin

Pain Level: 5

TO WATCH THE NUMBERS STATION ON NETFLIX, CLICK HERE